8.30.2001

Painting in Williamsburg again today. My right shoulder hurts like hell. The place is almost done. Tommorrow we paint some doors and the kitchen (3 hours work max). I am glad to help my parents but damn this is really starting to suck. My Father made me call my Grandmother today. She asked me if I had gained any weight and then asked me how "my girl" was. I said No I am the same size and that she was fine. Then my Grandmother asked me when I was going to get married. I said I did not know. She said I needed to wait for the right person and to make sure ahead of time. I informed her that Kim and I have bneen dating for 2 years and left it at that. A word to the wise everyone-----don't ask me when we are going to get married. A whole lot of my friends got married this summer but Kim and I are at this time quite happy with the current situation. Thank you in advance for keeping your mouth shut in reference to this. I have already been asked this question at least 10 times this summer, thus my frustration (that and I don't like my Grandmother). In Virginia after you live together for 7 years you establish commonlaw marriage. A little over 5 more years left fuckers.

8.29.2001

Just got done watching "The Gift" (directed by Sam Raimi). It was really good. Giovanni Ribisi was absolutely amazing. He plays this dude with some serious mental problems. I thought that his performance in that movie The Other Sister from like 2 years ago was excellent and this was along the same lines though this time without Juliette Lewis, fortunately for everyone involved. She plays 2 types of roles very well 1. The Innocent Victim (From Dusk Till Dawn, Kalifornia) 2. The Crazy pissed off victim (Natural Born Killers) Though she was in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation she had a very small role and the whole movie was stolen by Randy Quaid.

"Shitters Full."
Just got back from Williamsburg and helping my parents paint. I am hot, tired, and hungry. They working on our water pipes here and we currently are not allowed to use water. I am pissed off. I am going to go now. Bye.

8.28.2001

I just read Kim's Blog. The last line of today's entry is:

"Is Scott spiking my nightly yuppie cappucino with arsenic in an effort to exterminate me so he can profess his true love for Donna F. from the Donnas? I wish I knew."

A reference to my dream of last night. Christ! I know that she is rather unnatractive, OK the girl is nasty but I can't control my dreams---maybe tonight will be a foursome with the other Donna's. A boy can dream can't he. HA HA.
Chippendales
I just went into Extreme Tracking and found that the word that most often bring people to my site when they do a search is ..........."chipendales". I made this reference in one of my first posts. Horny women love the CAB. They must be so fucking surprised when they get to my blog. I am laughing at the thought of the looks on their faces. The Internet is a fun place to be. They want to see naked men and instead they get my personal brand of ridiculous crap. I even spelled "chipendales" wrong in my initial post (It has 2 "p"s). That means I am getting women who don't even know how to spell (then again neither do I apparently). Dumb-Horny women. Oh yeah. I am hot.
I just got back from my interview today for the Claims Adjuster position. I ended up interviewing with two managers from the department I would be working in. The dude I spoke with on the phone that was an asshole to me had an emergency and was unable to come in today. The job sounds real cool. I was very happy with the description of the position. Much of the interview was actually me asking questions as I had not had the oppurtunity to ask any questions when my interview was scheduled. All answers were satisfactory. I think that my answers were also good. They said that Bob (the phone interview guy) would be contacting me probably early next week to set up a time to meet with me. I also had to take 3 timed tests today. The first was vocabulary (6 minutes). It was about 50 words and you had to select the synonyms. I had no fucking clue on about 10 words. I read all the fucking time (and not Dr. Seuss either) and I still didn't know the meanings of 25% of the words which indicates to me that the test is designed to be rather difficult, and they thus do not expect a perfect score. The second part was finding errors in names and account numbers (7 minutes). I did well on this I think. Pretty straightforward. The third part was a 35 question reading comprehension test (30 minutes). This part was hard as fuck. All the passages (6 or 7) were about stock options or insurance topics. Lots of fucking technical jargon thrown in just to confuse the living shit out of me. I think I did OK, but still I was sweating. It was like taking the SATs all over again.

I feel very relieved right now. I think I am going to go eat.

I had a sex dream last night. It came about as a result of my Donnas post yesterday. In my dream I was having sex with their overweight bass player. It was gross. 3 cute girls, one really tall and overweight one and I end up with her. What the fuck is wrong with me? I think I need to begin therapy again as a result of the Donnas. I am going to sue them and Lookout records for punitive damages.

Please check out Ryan's Blog for an awesome picture of him and Bruce Campbell

8.27.2001

Even though I really shouldn't have spent the money, I just bought Detroit Rock City on DVD for $13 at Plan 9. It has some pretty damn cool features. Including a Donnas video. I can stare at them and I can ......never mind. Kim will be bitching me out for this post in the near future (rightfully so I may add), I wrote this for the entertainment of those not in a relationship with me. I hope you appreciate it.
Last night we found out that Kim's wrist is fine just sore and her kneecap is not cracked. She is one lucky/sturdy individual. She was once hit by a car out running and was not hurt too badly by that either. She might have broken her elbow in that incident but she still has (and also maintained while it was healing) full mobility of the appendage so I tend to think that was never broken either. Congratulations to Kim on being really fucking sturdy.

I have my interview tommorrow and I need to spend part of today filling out their ridiculously extensive application. In addition I get to spend all of today hoping that the guy I talked to on the phone is either a. not the individual who will be interviewing me or b. a whole lot easier to speak with in person. I hate interviewing with people who are complete assholes.

This weekend was fun. Went to Williamsburg to visit my parents on Saturday. I bought The Goonies on DVD at Costco. It is defective and needs to be returned. Fortunately I am painting their house for them this Wed.-Fri. so I will be back down there anyway. I have problems with my DVD player sometimes but not like this----thus I am assuming it is the disk (even though it appears to be in excellent condition). Went to the Farmer's Market yesterday. Yummy veggies for cheap.

One of the Fratelli brothers (Francis) in Goonies went on to play XXXXXXX in XXXXXXXX. Hard to recognize but it is true. In addition for some information about Sloth.....

Time for me to go fax some resumes.

8.24.2001

Jawbreaker Live 4/30/96

Kim is home from work today and is currently taking a nap. Unfortunately she is not feeling too well today. We went to Patient First this morning as a result of an accident she had yesterday. She was out jogging at 6 AM and she inexplicably fell. She came home and woke me up to let me know that she had fallen. Her right hand had a big gash in it. Fortunately she is left handed. Both of her knees were cut up pretty bad as well. At the doctor today she was told that she may have chipped one of the bones in her wrist as well as cracked her left knee cap. We will find out for sure about both things on Sunday when the officlai x-rays come back from the radiologist.

Last night was the Rival Schools show. It was excellent.

The Ghost from Berkley, CA opened the show. They played their own special brand of totally and uterly completely fucking generic "emo". There were melodic parts and some singing and some screaming and some heavy parts. I was completely fucking bored. I have seen so many bands like that it makes me want to vomit. Up next were Thursday. I knew before hand that they were on Victory Records and expected the worst. They were fucking awesome. They came out and tore the room apart. Tons of energy. They sound like At The Drive In or Boy Sets Fire. The best parts of those bands anyway. Not preachy like BSF (fortunately). The singer actually almost break dances/pantomimes when he's not singing, the whole band goes crazy. They had to canel Wednesday's show due to illness and they all were still sick (the rhythm guitar player is suffering from malnutrition). I would love to see these guys when they are in the best of health.

Rival Schools were good. They are much more listener friendly than Quicksand ever was. Subsequently, I also don't think they are nearly as good as Quicksand. Their album comes out on Tuesday. They are very "emo". Walter still sounded great as did the rest of the band. The musicianship was top notch all around. The bass player and the lead guitarist use tons of effects (they both had effects boards that you would expect Slayer to have) which I really don't like, they also showed up in a tour bus (Where did they get the money for that?). I don't think I will buy their record but for fans of the emo genre (it became stale for me about 2 years ago) I highly reccommend it. Walter was funny in terms of his between song banter and the guitar player has a great full sleeve on his right arm. If you are die-hard fan and would like to know anything else please e-mail me as I am sick of writing.

8.23.2001

Thomas and I are going to go to the Rival Schools show tonight at Alley Katz. I am going to go over to Plan 9 in a little while to purchase tickets for us as they are $2 cheaper per ticket in advance ($6). Not a bad price. Tonight will be the night I throw myself at Walter (ex-Quicksand,Gorilla Biscuits,Youth of Today). I hope that not too many people go to the show.

Last night Thomas gave me some great tips to get my computer running significantly better--they worked. I also bought some RAM from buy.com. It was super cheap. 128 megs for $20.15---$25 including shipping. I thought about buying 256 (for $36) instead but then realized that 128 is sufficient right now. My little Dell is going to be sweet. The only thing I really have needed was more RAM. With my Dial up connection, the factory installed 64 megs just were not cutting it. I am excited. In addition Thomas let me borrow Event Horizon and Snatch on DVD. I watched Event Horizon last night and was suitably impressed. Not as scary as I had heard but definitely entertaining. Kim and I will watch Snatch tommorrow night. I am going to go now. I need to go to Elwood Thompson's .

8.22.2001

I have been sitting here and brushing up on my Excel knowledge. Tommorrow will be Excel a

(Here is where I jump up from the computer to go and see what the fuck just happened as I heard a crash in the living room directly behind me and look out to see the cat running away. She accidently knocked over a snow globe. It was Kim's and I removed the shattered glass from the globe. It is now a tiny Eyore on a pedestal instead of a tiny Eyore inside a snow globe[technically there was glitter in the water-not snow]. I hope Kim will not be too mad.)

nd Powerpoint day. I have been listening to........Karma to Burn. What a friggin' surprise. Drinkin' lots of water. I am dehydrated.
Listening to Acid Bath's "When the Kite Strings Pop". The cover art is actually a clown painting by John Wayne Gacy. The clown is actually named Pogo and is considered a self-portrait. Those kooky serial killers.

I just got done watching the deleted scenes on the Hannibal DVD that Kim bought yesterday. They were good. I will watch the making of... later today. I need to go to the doctor and then I am going to come home and teach myself Powerpoint. Exciting.


8.21.2001

Here I am again. I am printing out the employement application that I will need to fill out and bring with me to my interview next Tuesday. How exciting. Not really. It is taking forever to print out because my printer sucks. The question I have to ask is why do all these companies do Drug Testing. The only people they succeed in eliminating are potheads and full fledged junkies. Heroin stays in your system for 24 hours, Cocaine for 72, LSD doesn't really show up in your urine, and marijuana (suppossedly) stays in your system for a month. Thus I think that you can see my point that testing only catches habitual users and people who smoke marijuana. The question I pose is this----would you rather a pothead work for you or an alcoholic. At least with a pothead they are mellow. Alcoholics (companies do not test for alcohol) are prone to incredible mood swings etc... Potheads while rather stupid in many cases, are at least mellower. Oh well. This whole tirade was brought about by the Drug Testing Consent portion of the application. I am cool but I still feel as though my privacy is being violated. If you tested positive for marijuana because you smoked it with your old college roomate 3 1/2 weeks ago, does that mean that you cannot do a good job? Kind of a bunch of Bullshit. Oh well. The price one must pay for a "decent" job. Of course drugs are illegal and I do understand that point. Time to go watch "Kingpin". Love that Bill Murray.
Now that I am not wasting my entire day in an office in fronty of a computer I actually have to make an effort to update my blog here. I am listening to Karma to Burn again. It is yummy. I just threw all my other metal records out of the window. I no longer need them.

I called that dude about the job today. It was weird he is kind of abrassive. He first asked me if I was still at CC and I said no and explained that to him. I said that there were no oppurtunities for advancement there and decided to resign and look for a new job fulltime. All true. The next thing he asked was what I made at CC. I told him and neglected to up the figure as I probably should have. Then he told me MWC is a good school (the first time an interviewer has ever said this to me) and that he was concerned that there seemed to be a lot of movement on resume, and they invest a lot of time and money in training--he wanted me to "assure him" that I would stick around for a while. This is true that I have moved around a lot and I covered my ass pretty well with my response. At the end I even added that if there was more room for advancement at CC, that I would still be there. I have an actual interview face to face next Tuesday. I wonder if he is planning on raking me over the coals some more in person. Some HR folks have a strange way of doing things.

I was then trying to fax out other resumes from my PCand having a hell of a time. I solved the problem though. I am the best.

8.20.2001

I ordered Karma to Burn's "Wild Wonderful Purgatory" last Monday after the Fugazi show from Half.com. It arrived today and I am listening to it right now. Fucking fantatsic.

I helped Thomas move into his new house today. Ryan came up and helped to. I carried the lighter stuff and since they are considerably stronger than me, they carried the heavy stuff. Thomas took us out to dinner at Taco Bell and then Ryan got us in to see The Others at the new Regal Cinema. It was very good. Better because Ryan works for Regal in Newport News and got us in for free. I also got a phone call from a job that I am very interested in today. I have given up on the other job I was interested in. I really do not want it anyway. That is not rationalization. The hours were bad. I think I want to get my MCSE and I would not have time for classes at that job. Things are maybe falling into place. I hope. The job will be working for an Insurandce company in their Bodily Injury Claims Department. At least it sounds interesting and less stressful than my last job. I was disconected but luckily this was not erased.

8.19.2001

The Goonies is coming out on DVD this Tueday (8-21). On the DVD are a Cyndi Lauper video, a making-of documentary, and deleted scenes. Rejoice. I loved that fucking movie as a kid. I will love it as an adult. Sean Astin and Martha Plimpton-----I am so aroused I could cut glass.

My computer seems to be doing much better. I ran a virus scan. I knowe its just a coincidence but even though nothing waws found, running the scan made it all better. Computers are strange. I have to go to practice tonight and now I am going tro eat lunch.

Day 2 of unemployment.

8.18.2001

I am having major fucking problems with my PC. I wrote a bunch of stuff and lost it all. I am not going to write it again. I am pissed. I need to have Thomas look at this thing sometime soon.

8.17.2001

30 minutes left. It is scary. I am leaving a job but do not have one lined up. I am scared of being unemployed, but very glad to be leaving here. All things considered I find unemployment to be a much healthier occupation than Internet Specialist / Customer Support Coordinator with this corporation. I have a bunch of cash saved and hopefully something will come through soon. I will be OK. This is the last time I will be updating this site from my cubicle (cell) in this office (prison). From now on we will be communicating from my suite on Patterson Ave. Until another job comes along anyway.

Even R2D2 likes Ozzy

This comes from an Ozzy fansite:
The Diary tour was nicknamed Night of the Living Dead tour due to various misfortunes: The entire band was expelled from a San Diego over Ozzy's
reputation, the prop truck broke down, and in Minneapolis a crane fell andcrushed $8000 worth of synthesizers. On the upside, the stage setting for
Diary of a Madman was a huge castle complete with fog. The drummer was situated on a raised platform, and there was an opening in the center of
the stage where a dwarf would come out to give Ozzy water and towels. The dwarf was actually Little John Allen who played R2D2 in Star Wars. It has
been brought to my attention that Kenny Baker actually played R2D2 so I don't know which name is correct. John Allen suffered mock abuse by having
pig entrails tossed at him, he was stuffed into a hole and he was even hanged for prolonged periods from a noose (as shown on some videos). This
was accomplished with a harness so as not to really choke him, but how did he manage to stay up for so long??
Listening to Iron Maiden. I only have 30 pages left in Girl Interupted but I unable to bring myself to read it. The Taco Bell Brandon, Thomas and I had for lunch has left me feeling bloated and nasty. I drank two medium sized lemonades---lots of stomach acid.

I just read on the Iron Maiden site that they had a contest and the winner got to fly in a small single engine plane with Bruce Dickinson (Miden's Singer) flying the plane. Wow. Did he sing "2 Mnutes to Mdnight" while he flew? I would like to meet Mr. Dickinson but preferably outside of a small aircraft. I just read that the contest was actually a charity auction through Ebay. You really can buy anything on Ebay. For that they get this link. This link is for those of you not web-savy enough to locate Ebay.

I will start bidding when Ozzy promises to:

1. fall off the wagon and get drunk
2. try to fuck a yak.

An alternative would be:

1. fall off the wagon and get drunk
2. urinate on the Alamo again.
Here is an email that went out in reference to me leaving:

"Today we are losing team member Scott Wise. Scott has accepted an external position that doesn't require him to speak. Good Luck Scott, we hope you get your voice back soon!"

Everyone is up in arms about it because they feel that it was too much info. I kind of agree but I do not care. Whatever.

Thomas and Kim are going to watch me drink a bottle of wine tonight.

My boss and her boss just said goodbye to me and wished me luck. I can't wait to go away from here.
They just came and gave me my exit interview. It is a scantron sheet that you have to fill out. I showed mercy to my supervisors in terms of the way they were rated. I probably should not have but I did. I bashed the company itself really hard. They are a bunch of liars. I sincerely hope that every decent employee they have walks out the door. When she was giving me the sheets, my supervisor said "So are you happy?" I said emphatically "Yes." She looked very sad and I followed it up with "I probably shouldn't say that, but I will" She said that it was OK and I should be honest. I then filled out the survey and signed my name to it. It will not make any difference to them but I don't care. At least it is off my chest. I was honest just like my supervisor told me to be. I hope this whole fucking company rots. They deserve to go bankrupt. When they do, I am going to throw a big fucking party. By the way, they will go bankrupt. I will bet money on it. I know things. For those of you who do not know which company it is, It is a really large electronics retailer based in Richmond, Virginia. I won't name names but we have a red circle for our logo. I am sure you can figure it out.

If Dan Higgs should read this, I do believe in liberation.
Corey and I are big, bright, shining stars.

Go to the News section when you get there.

The song for today is "Non Dual Bliss" by Lungfish-------------------"Do you believe in Liberation?"
A little while ago I was whistling and when I looked in my neighbors' direction he told me not to whistle at him---Its bad luck. Then he told me not to whistle indoors as its bad luck. I told him he was one of the most superstitous people I have ever met. Why would you try and get other people to follow your superstitous beliefs and asjust there behavior accordingly? I am so sick of this place. Will I make it through till 6 PM. I am not sure.
The feedback in Fugazi's Instrument--the song not the soundtrack, has got me. I want to jump up and dance.

Maybe Tequila instead of wine.
Sitting here in my cell, I am listening to Fugazi's In on the Kill Taker and reading American Psycho. I have 36 pages left in the book. I almost vommitted reading it last night. It is that disgusting. Anyway as I was reading I had the sudden realization that I am going to drink a bottle of red wine tonight to celebrate an end to the hell that has been my period of employment with this corporation. I fear that this company is run by Satan himself. If not the "Big Guy" perhaps a demon who has risen through the ranks and is now royalty in the netherworld. Hail to the Baphomet and the the Lord of Darkness.
Why I will not pay $35 + to see Nick Cave. The following is an excerpt of a a show review from London on May 7, 2001:

"Nick also "forgot" the words to a song (think it was 'God is in the House') and stopped the band playing and started again. I believe from other reviews, however, that he does this often. He also brought out a helper to stand there with lyric cue cards! Some roadie was standing holding up these cards in the front of the stage. Is Nick losing his memory?"

For damn near $40/ticket you better remeber the words mother-fucker.
Feeling like a jerk------The Stripper Conclusion

I am still feeling good today however I must admit that I ended up feeling like quite the asshole about 45 minutes ago. Please let me explain. About 2 months ago we got a new neighbor in the building next to ours. The bedroom side of our apartment opens up onto the alley and our new neighbor moved in directly across the alley. In essense her windows are about 8 feet from ours. She is a pretty young girl with large breasts. She is also heavily tattooed. I noticed a full back piece when she first moved in, and a couple of weeks ago P.J., Marie, and I were all standing on the back joint fire escape when this woman came out wearing a very tight black mini-skirt, and we discovered her legs are covered. This happened around 6 PM so we assummed she was going to work (at a strip club). Everyone thought this woman was a stripper. She has a lot of money---she drives a brand new Chevy Suburban. There are other things which led us all to the stripper conclusion. When she speaks she sounds like a valley girl, she is never home at night, she has a tiny Yorkie dog named Elroy who she babies incessantly, she has leopard print stuffed dice hanging from her rearview mirror, the rent in her building is $750/month and she lives by herself etc.... Well this morning as I walk out of my apartment, she is coming home. As she gets out of her Suburban I realize that she is wearing a strange yet familiar uniform. The shirt is white with cartoon characters on it and blue pants. In reality she is not a stripper but rather a pediatric nurse who works the night shift. That's right the woman I thought danced naked at "Paper Moon" (a Richmond Strip Club) is actually a highly skilled medical professional. I want to apologize----of course I won't, but I think you understand. After further thought, she could even be a doctor. I am inclined to think she is a nurse though as she probably would not live in my neighborhood if she was a doctor.

Someone behind me is eating. They are crunching so loud it is incredibly unnerving. Christ. Thank God today is my last day.

Time to do nothing. 8 hours and 42 minutes left. "To be finished would be a relief."

8.16.2001

Today I was speaking with Kris in relation to The Pupils show at Fort Reno the other night. He has contacted Dischord Records directly and they have stated that Lungfish has not broken up. The Pupils are officially a side project. In additon the child in the picture with Dan Higgs on Corey's Blog is apparently Dan Higgs' son. A new member has joined the brethren.
Please take note of the Indie Blogs links and the Extreme Tracking link. Corey put me onto these and I am now very excited. I am moist. Well as moist as a man can be anyway.

I went to the dentist and picked up my Night Guard. It is nice. No more teeth grinding for me. Plus it is like a football mouthpiece and I can pay young boys to tackle me when I am wearing it.
These damn computers here are so fucking slow sometimes. I tell you that if they do not get some faster computers in here, tommorrow will be my last day. Wait--it already is.

I just read that Nick Cave is coming to the 9:30 club on 10/7. The tickets are $35 + service charge through Ticketmaster. That seem like a whole lot of money. Of course I am used to punk/hardcore shows where $10 is considered a lot. I might have to skip that show.

I am listening to Nick Cave right now, and I see him in front of me performing. Thank god for LSD. Only $3 a hit. Economical and fun.
Some folks really need to have their art force-fed to them. Two of my neighbors are discussing the movie Seven and one of them was saying that he did not understand certain parts of it. The discussion has also branched off into how the ending sucks and the car ride into the desert is too long and boring. How come no one understands the concept of dialogue anymore? Nowadays everything need to be explosions and sex and pretty people. Dialogue does not count for shit. The reason the ending is excellent is directly attributable to Kevin Spacey's performance in the car. It is ashame people don't understand the importance of words.

Speaking of movies, I bought Traffic for $8 on DVD at Blockbuster last night and Kim bought Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for the same price. We rented and watched "Shadow of the Vampire". John Malkovich and Willem Defoe were excellent.
Done with my 2 things. Now I am:

1. Reading my HTML Book
2. Listening to Charles Mingus' Ah Um

I am very relaxed.
I am at work. I forgot my ID for the second day in a row. Attached to my ID is also the security card to allow me access to the building. I think that in my head I am already gone from this dive. I brought 4 books to work with me today, including my HTML book. I have 2 things that I need to take care of and then I am not going to do anything at all. If only I could find a job which allowed me to do this everyday.

I am going to get my night guard "delivered" this afternoon. This means that they will make it fit in my mouth. I called to make an appointment on Tuesday and said "Hi my name is Scott Wise and I received a message that I need to make an appointment to have my night guard delivered"-----dead silence for 4-5 seconds as the receptionist says nothing until finally I say "...and I'd like to make an appointment." Apparently what I needed was not clear enough at the beginning. How the fuck could it not be? They left a message telling me to make an appointment, I call and tell them they left this message and the woman still has no idea what I need. Christ. This woman is employed by a DDS. Why am I scared about finding a new job?

8.15.2001

I just signed up for a page at Angelfire.com. It is free and I know how to get rid of the pop-up banners so what the heck. The only problem is the gigantic domain name. I have not started doing anything with it, but the address will be www.angelfire.com/punk3/jinx_removing pretty damn long-huh? Oh well. I see lots of code being written in my future.
My neighbor at work just asked me where I have been and told me that evryone has been asking about me. 15 minutes ago Brandon was telling me that my neighbors kept asking him where I was. I will bet money that no one was asking about me except for my neighbors---3 days until they have nothing to talk about.
I just took all of the Mushroom Flavored Ramen packages that I had stapled up to the wall of my cubicle down. I put them up in Brandon's cubicle----I hope that he likes them.
The Exposion "Flash Flash Flash"

I have deided that I will not be working anymore emails. As Friday is my last day I will not be able to follow-up on any issues. If anyone in management says anything this is what they will be told. If they do not like it, they can all line up and kiss da SKZA's ass. They will all get theirs. The collapse is on its way.

Yesterday in addition to cleaning my guns, I watched the following movies:

1. Jurassic Park
2. Jurassic Park The Lost World
3. A Fistfull of Dollars
4. Run Lola Run

I enjoyed each of these fine films. I learned that dinosaurs are cute, cudly creatures who should be bred in captivity and put on an island and packaged like an amusement park. In addition Clint Eastwood is a badass, and Lola has hair like orphan Annie and she does run a whole heck of a lot. I might have missed some lessons while watching these films, but I am not sure. My mood is improving.

"There are no good samaritans. There are no proud americans. This isn't my idea of success"
Listening to Samhain's Initium.

I hate this fucking job. Everything about this place is so incredibly negative. I really want to tell every single person who emails me to fuck off. I now have this woman who has now began to insult me personally. Apparently throwing her level of wealth (she claims she is very wealthy) in my face on numerous occassions over the last 2 weeks was not enough. I really want to write her back and say----

"I have your telephone number, your email address, and most importantly your address. Do you really want to fuck with me?"

Anyway to view a picture of the C.A.B. himself check out Corey's Blog There is a picture of Kim and I at the bottom of the 8/14 entry. Love that "Waiting Room."

I am angry still so this is all I have to say until later.

8.14.2001

It is early in the morning. I called in sick to work again today. I find it very difficult to mask my contempt for the powers that be in my office. The managers are ridiculous. They have taken a highly productive department and sucked every bit of life that it had straight out of it. Everyone who works there is now looking for another job or has already left. I also called in because the cat is sick. I think she is really dehydrated and I will watch her today and get her to drink as much water as possible. Hopefully this will work and we can avoids a large Vet bill.

We were in DC yesterday. Fugazi were excellent. A band called "The Pupils" opened up. It ended up being Daniel Higgs and Asa Osborne (I think it was Asa anyway) of Lungfish. They both played guitar and Daniel sang. I thought they were awesome. Like Lungfish without the rhythm section and prettier guitar parts. Fugazi played a whole lot of new stuff. The new stuff is great but much of it lacks the energy of the older material. This is understandable as it is 14 years after the bands first show. That is a very long time, and I am sure that if I were them I would not want to play the less complex-heavier songs. As usual, they did play some great older stuff. The highlights for me were "Rend It", "Smallpox Champion", and "Waiting Room". This was the 8th time I have seen Fugazi and the first time I have ever seen them play "Waiting Room". I was very excited. It is also one of the only Fugazi songs that Kim really likes so she was happy as well. Good time in DC other than the show. I bought some used videos at the record store where I used to work. $2 each---Jurassic Park & Jurassic Park The Lost World, and Apollo 13.

I am going to go back to bed now. I really do feel like complete crap.

8.13.2001

Woke up early this morning. Kim was already awake and at the computer updating her blog. We are going to be leaving in a while to go to DC and see Fugazi at Ft. Reno park. I am ssure that it will rain, as it always does. There is not too much exciting going on today. We are going to stop at Ikea on the way up to DC and then shop around in DC for a while before the show. Swedish Furniture.

I just found a picture of me dressed up like a metal guy from my 22nd Birthday. My Birthday is on Halloween--thus the costume. I look like the guy I wanted to be when I was in High School --long stringy blond hair, tight jeans (pegged), a Cinderella t-shirt, a black basaeball cap with crosses all over it, leather wristbands, and a flannel. I also have some silver chains around my neck. I think that i will actually change my look to this. I will look hot. The ladies will really dig me then. I don't even want any of the ones that are after me now. I was single forever and now I am very happy with Kim, and these annoying women keep coming out of the woodwork and in essence bothering me. If you still have feelings, or develop new feelings for the C.A.B., just leave him alone and keep those feelings to yourself.

8.12.2001

In the saga involving our neighbor who likes to sexually harass Kim there has been a development. It is a long story which I do not feel like telling, but basically I told him that it needs to stop. He apologized and we hung out afterwords. What a load of our minds. It really sucks to live in hatred and fear of one of your neighbors--it appears to be over. Cross your fingers.

Watermelon festival today in Carytown and then DC and Fugazi tommorrow.

Bad thunderstorms all weekend. It is comfy now though. I have to go look up some stuff for my Mom now. Later.

8.11.2001

Not at work today. It is saturday. I just ate lunch and prepared some of the stuff for dinner tonight. We are having grilled tempeh fajitas for dinner. The vegetables will be onion, yellow squash, and red peppers. All of this is now in the refrigerator marinating. I even steamed the tempeh first. We went to the mall today. I bought some figures at Kay B Toys I got that really cool looking motorcycle from Akira for $5 and some Tenchi Figures as well. I am not really too into Japanimation but I really like the way that stuff looks. There is not too much else going on here. Thunderstorms last night and today. It is now considerably cooler though which is dfefinitely a good thing. Kind of boring today but good.

For a good bit of insight into the truth behind the meat-packing industry click here

8.10.2001

My stipper name will be "White Chocolate Thunder"b>
Kim read the blog about Katie and this is what she had to say:

"This Katie girl better know that she is now on my leg-breaking list, which is not a good place to be. I will get her right after I get the ex-Circuit City divorcee
(see Yeterday's blog for the details). Who sends a letter like that years later. She sounds a little nutty."

Kim also has it in for the girl at Blockbuster. She likes to flirt with me. What can I say?
What a story. I go home on my break and call my parents. My Mom says that there is a letter there from a "Katie S***" and I was like----"Really?" (with an air of fear and discomfort). In college I had been sort of trying to date this girl, when she started acting kind of weird and I ended up asking Karen out the next day. I often wondered if I made the right choice. Now I realize that it all worked out for the bast in the end, well for me anyway. Katie sent a newspaper clipping stating that 2 of the counties in VA hardest hit by flooding were Scott and Wise so she thought about me. Incidently those 2 counties are very poor and backwoods in orientation, and I whole-heartedly claim allegiance with both counties. Thems my peoples. Anyway there is of course you guessed it--------a letter with the clipping. Katie once sent a letter to me on my 21st Birthday that was all about her feelings for me etc... Karen and I had been going out for a few months at that point, and I had been ignoring the uncomfortable situation that Katie brought around when I was in her presense. I of course avoided her like a hippie avoiding a bath. I did not however douse myself in patchouli oil in an effort to combat Katie, though perhaps that would have made the situation easier on myself.

I needless to say was not completely surprised by the letter. Anyway in the letter it was just a big update on her life and the definite underlying feeling that she is hoping I will:

a. respond
b. be single and interested again.

I am not going to do a. and am not b. even a little. I feel bad that I will hurt her by not responding but at this point she must know that I am not interested. She even gave her phone number and her email address. I am now officially a lady-killer. Lock up your daughters, put bars on the windows but watch them carefully because they may attempt to chew through the bars if I should happen to walk by.

Until the next episode of "Prince Jackass"....Au revoir.
Pseudo Vegetarianism

There are 3 forms of vegetartianism:

1. Ovo-Lacto Vegetarian---These vegetartians eat no meat but consume dairy and eggs.
2. Lacto-Vegetarian--These vegetarians do not eat meat or eggs but do consume dairy.
3. Vegan----I am a vegan. I do not eat meat, dairy or eggs. I do not consume use or wear any products of animal origin.

These are the only 3 types of vegetarians. Many people have been misinformed. Some "vegetarians" refer to themselves as such and still eat------seafood.
Fish, despite some peoples thought process or lack thereof are not vegetables. They are living animals. They have eyes and central nervous systems, hearts etc.... If you eat these "vegetables" you are in actuality eating what once was a living animal. Eating animal flesh (even of the lowly ocean/lake bound variety) takes away one's claim to vegetarianism. If you have a friend or acquaintance who professes to be a vegetarian and then eats seafood please call them on it. The above definitions of vegetarianism are paraphrased from Webster's Dictionary. Seafood is nowhere mentioned as being "vegetarian". If you want to be a vegetarian then please do so, however do not insult the rest of us by mistaking seafood for vegetables. Vegetarianism of any form is a commitment, there is a rule. The rule is very simple----do not eat animal flesh.
Please check out Stay Gold Ponyboy. There is a link on the right over there. In today's entry you will discover the true value of my worth at home. I am being used for my culinary skills. I am a victim. I am depressed.

I have some advice. Any activities in which you may be involved that are less than legal, please refrain from dicussing these on your office telephone.
I am at work now and have concluded that I really don't care about the stuff I was discussing yesterday afternoon. Four more days after today. I am listening to one of Jello Biafra's spoken word albums. I could get fired today. The CD might prompt me to tell everyone in the office off, and pull my cock out and slap it on my bosses forehead. Maybe I will just sit here instead.

Last night Brandon called me and sid that after looking at the Sissy Space Sex website, determined that the bass player in Corey's band used to be pretty decent friends with Brian (Brandon's brother and our guitar player). It is a very small world. Its strange that Corey gets a band going in DC and I join a band in Richmond and one of each bands' members know each other.

8.09.2001

I am still at work. This day seems to go on forever. What a strange situation I have created for myself. Truly amazing. I knew that it all wouldn't work out completely in my favor. I was correct. Anyway---Fun tonight and this weekend and Fugazi on Monday. It will all get better.
Just found out that my plan has finally failed me. I have been caught, busted, etc.... 5 actual work days left after today. They are going to be long and uncomfortable. Not only was I caught but you would not believe what I was talking about. Bad Fucking news. I will survive. I am Gloria Gaynor.
Another good story. This lady used to work here, and just went to the company I want to go to in the dept. where I want to work. She is currently training with Jenny (Brandon's fiance) over there. Jenny already told her that she refferred me for possible employment. This woman is in her thirties and a divorcee with 2 kids. She keeps telling Jenny how nice I am etc.... This lady just called up here and spoke with another associate and was telling him that she wanted to talk to me and give me a heads up for the job. I once mentioned to her that as I knew she was going to Suncom (before I knew Jenny was going to refer me) to give me a heads up about any jobs. This apparently was a mistake. I just told the associate to tell her that Jenny had already referred me (which she already knows) and to tell her thank you. Then I walked away. I have a stalker.

Our software is fucked up. My computer is fucked. I do not have to do anything. The day is getting better.
I just got back from the dentist. I was gone for over 2 hours. What a fucking experience. First I was almost in a fight in the parking lot. I was fucking scared. As I was pulling into the dentist's parking lot a very large truck was blocking the entrance. This truck would be clearly visabl over my 2 door Honda Civic Hatchback, but this did not stop the guy behind me who had pulled partway into the lot and was still in the street a little as a result of my having to stop,from beeping his horn. I immediately flicked him off. I then proceeded to try and get out of his way. I saw him cursing at me in the rearview mirror and he looked really fucking pissed. He actually cornered me in this other parking lot where I had pulled in an attempt to get out of his way. He pulls up on my left side and I roll down and the window and his girlfriend is speaking to me. I lower the radio and he says "I'm really sorry." Her boyfriend his glaring at me like he is going to fucking rip my head off. I look at them and say "I was trying to get out your fucking way but there was that really big fucking truck in the road. She apologizes again and I accept. I had to do a 4 point turn to get out of where he cornered me. She was obviously very upset and bitching him out I think. I can only imagine that he was probably screaming about killing me. When I saw the look of fear on her face I realized that he was indeed chasing me and trying to corner me. This was in Carrytown--a total Yuppie part of town.

Then I go to the dentist. They are making me a night-guard for the grinding. They had to take an impression of my upper teeth. I almost puked. They put a football mouthpiece shaped thing filled with putty over your teeth and you have to bite down. The putty comes up around your teeth and almost down the back of your throat. Then the assistant taking the mold got the putty stuff in my hair because she had to pull me forward so I would not choke on vomit. My own not someone else's. Then I had a very very extensive cleaning. They also made me rinse with flouride for a minute straight after the polishing.

My day has a very strange beginning. I think I will listen to the Cure now.

Great line from Uncle Tupelo's "Anodyne" which I bought the other day:

'Loeliness Drinks The Bitters'

I just thought I would point this out, because like most music-crazed individuals I want to force my opinions on those around me. This Blog is a great way to do that.
I am at work. I am about to go to the dentist. I need a cleaning and a night guard made. I grind my teeth really bad. I was just listening to my bosses boss speaking. The phrases that corporate America uses continually amaze me. I would like to point out 2 of these phrases.

1. "Going Forward.... --This is generally used at meetings. This phrase is specifically utilized when the underlings (i.e. the individuals who actually contribute to the company) ask too many questions which management feels do not warrant an answer, or the answer is one which the associates are not suppossed to know. This is a beautiful phrase. I intend to use this next time Kim and I have an argument. "Why is your crap everywhere?----Well Kim, Going Forward I think that we need to look at the big picture and determine what is best for the company, oops I mean relationship."

2. "We need to make sure that we are all on the same page" ---This is used when there are so many changes going on that no one is able to keep up with all the details of the "re-structuring" (As a side note--Re-Structuring means you are probably going to get fucked). No one is ever really "on the same page". This is a nice phrase thrown out there to make things seem like you are working towards a common goal. I realize that I have nothing in common with most of these people, goal-related or otherwise. I certainly do not agree with the practices of this company and this is one of the main reasons I am leaving. Perhaps next time I hear this phrase I will let them know that I am not on the same page, nor do I want to be. They are on page 3 of The Wall Street Journal and I am on page 56 of Maximum Rock and Roll.

Until later. I bid you adieu.

8.08.2001

Brandon just said that the "Chosen Ones" idea from earlier was excellent. He wants to tattoo a cross on his chest and then at shows attach wires to himself so he can fly out over the crowd in the crucifixion pose.

In all seriousness, we need a drummer. Nation Gaddy is in the market for one. We are trying to do a kind of post-punk thing influenced by the Archers of Loaf, Jawbox, and Fugazi among many others of course. If you or anyone you know plays drums and lives in the Richmond, VA area, and are interested in becoming a part of the mighty Nation Gaddy please email me at the C.A.B. address. It is scary. Brandon keeps wanting to call the drummers that are advertising as wanting to be part of a "Modern Rock Band". I am not going to do Creed covers. I am not going to play Shiny Happy People to a room full of drunks. This is not my goal. In closing we are open to anyone who might be interested in what we are trying to do with not necessarily the same influences.
Look at all these fine links and the new email address. I am the king. C.A.B. ------#1.
So the Human Resources lady from that job I want is harrassing me. She responded to the email I sent her which of course was a simple response to her email. She still wants to discuss Customer Care oppurtunities. How many times do I have to say no? I appreciate her interest, but I was already quite clear that I was not interested. I am a hot commodity. I am important. People like me.
I have not figured out how to set up links yet but here is a list of Blogs you should look at :

http://staygoldponyboy.blogspot.com----Kim's insight on life in general and living with me.
http://www.egoinc.org---Corey's insights on life in general and me naked.
http://www.laze.net---Ryan's insights on Corey and me naked.
http://www.heymercedes.com---Bob Nanna of Braid and Hey Mercedes. Unfortunately I am not mentioned, nor is Corey, Kim or Ryan.
http://www.whatjailislike.com----Chicago kid makes funny.
Instead of Scott Wise look at my new name. Its a tribute to my homies at No Limit Records.
Bear-fuckers Unite Through Jesus!

This morning driving to work I had the urge for some nostalgia and I pulled out Janes' Addiction's Riual De Lo Habitual. Wow that is one great fucking record. As time goes on I think we all forget how good some of the music that we used to listen to really is. Of course I find that much of the music that I used to listen to was really bad, much like me ill-advised bout of Eight Grade "Britney Fox" fandom. They sang "Girlsschool"----you rember now don't you. Anyway the Janes' Addiction rhythm section is truly amazing. The bass drum has about the best damn sound ever for a bass drum. Stephen Perkins is fucking great. How do people completely strung out on Heroin make records like that?

I get to work and in the parking lot I have this realization---Nation Gaddy (my band) needs to change our name to "The Chosen Ones". We will perform at church picnics and tent revivals. We will play punk rock versions of spirituals. Just picture a song like "Go Tell It On The Mountain" done with a punk rock gallop beat and distorted guitars. People would love it. Jars Of Clay would take us on the road with them. If we are really good maybe we could open up for Creed. I will have to tell Brandon and Brian of my plans. I have finally found my calling. Praise Jesus. Praise Jesus!

I am now speaking in toungues and handling snakes. I've got the vespers.

I get into the office and immediately see this woman that I do not like very much and walk up to a friend of mine and say how turned on I was by Sherrie (this woman) when I saw her. She is about 55 and not very attractive. He looks at me and goes "Who? I say Sherrie and proceed to describe her. He has been in her presence and worked with her on various things numerous times. He still is not getting it. About 5 seconds later he realizes who she is. My joke has been dead for at least 10 seconds. This woman is pretty much one of our supervisors and he had no idea who I was speaking of. She is also the only Sherrie in the office. Some people are really stupid.

I look at my hotmail account and there is an email from the lady from Suncom saying that she saw my resume on Monster.com. This is the same woman I spoke with on 8/2. She also called me yeterday. I left her a message yesterday stating that we had already spoken, and who had refferred me. I reponded to her email and basically said we had already talked and I left you a message yesterday. Her email was generated on 8/6 (before my call yeterday) I still responded--just to be polite. My name must stick out just a little. This woman keeps contacting me but the lady doing the phone interview does not. This kind of sucks.

I got an email from a porn site this morning. One of the links said this: Young Twink With An Older Bear What the fuck doe that mean? What is a Twink? Is the girl really fucking a bear? How do you Fuck a Bear without getting mauled? Who has a fetish for women fucking bears? Bondage I understand, Body Part fetishes I understand, but how the fuck are you arroused by a bear? When these people see Smokey the Bear do they instantly find themselves aroused with an overwhelming need to go camping and "Comune" with nature. These are my thoughts. They are idiotic I know, but entertaining I hope.

8.07.2001

Brandon and I just got back from a break. I was walking past Scott's desk, you will remember him from last week's sex dream entry. He gave his notice yesterday and thus has his laptop here today. He is watching DVD's. In specific that Pearl Jam tour movie. I just watched a little bit. Those guys have all gained some weight. I did not recognize Mike McCready at all. He put on some weight and bleached his hair. He is weird looking now. I got to see one cool part though. They dressed up like the Village People. Very amusing. Eddie Vedder was the Indian. Who wants to bet that somehow that led into a diatribe about the plight of the Native American. I completely agree that the Native American population has been completely fucked over, I just would not want to hear Eddie Vedder speak about the issue. Noam Chomsky----yes, a spoiled Rock Star----No. I still fail to understand why Pearl Jam did not charge less for tickets during that whole Ticketmaster thing. I understand that Ticketmaster rips people off and they have a monopoly but unfortunately you have no choice. I understand this is what they were fighting against but come on. Instead of getting paid less they chose to keep the prices the same even though they could not beat Ticketmaster. The whole time they are talking about how much they "care about their fans".

My talkative neighbor is also the self appointed Lunch Schedule Supervisor. She will ask everyone if they are going to lunch and then sign them up for their chosen time. She has been asking everyone around me. Make her shut up. Please.
I have a very bad temper, a characteristic which I unfortunately inherited directly from my Father. Sometimes I honestly feel as though I am going to explode. Today is one of those days. My office is essentially now a Customer Service Call Center. The people who work here are not the classiest bunch. I am very sick of all this nonsnse banter. All conversations are conducted at an ear splitting level. The topics include sports,Rap/R & B music, and hair/nails. I went to fucking college. Can I please be surrounded by people who's lives are a bit more interesting than this? The girl who sits next to me sometimes refuses to shut up. Today is one of those days. Do they have internet access in prison libraries? Will I be able to update my blog from there?
Ah yes, I am here again. With the heat index Richmond is going to hit 107 degrees today. We do not have central air. We only have a window unit in the bedroom. Better than nothing though. I am considering hooking the DVD player up in the bedroom when I get home tonight.

I am at work I am planning on doing the exact amount or work it takes to meet my quota and then not doing anything except perhaps reading one of the books I brought with me. I will be off this coming Saturday-Monday. Kim and I will be celebrating 2 years of togetherness. Two years of suffering through mental and physical abuse, molestation, alcoholism, drug-use, incest, illness, and bestiality. Actually two years of as close to complete satisfcation as one can come. The relationship has taught me a lot. How to forgive and forget---something I have always had a difficult time with. How to truly love someone. How to treat someone else and How I want to be treated. Anyway Kim, I love you and Happy Anniversary in advance. I will be out with some hookers all weekend so have fun by yourself. Well that is enough of my sentimental crap, on to the stories.

I have very few fond memories of my high school career. I was way smaller than everyone else and smarter than most so needless to say I was harrassed a great deal. I still hate jocks. Thay drive me fucking nuts. The biggest problem with High School Jocks is that they grow up to be Frat-Boys in college and Yuppie-SUV-Drivin'-Scum in their mid twenties. While I do indeed hate jocks, especially the steroid-ridden assholes who walked the halls of my high school (New Hyde Park Memorial in New Hyde Park, NY [its on Long Island]), I hate the Frat-Boys and the Yuppies that they evolve into. Is that technically evolution? Many of these people seem to live their lives as if they are the only individuals on the planet. They feel that as they were "Kings" of their High School" they feel they are Kings in the world. I would just like to say that you folks, if any of you are reading this, are not shit in my world. You are greedy and selfish. You buy clothes manufactured by sweatshop labor, you drive cars that are environmentally and economically hazardous, you fuck woman that all look, speak and act the same, You see me on the street and you stare. You stare because I do not look or act like you. I dress differently than how you dress, my camoflage shorts (surprisingly enough) are not from The Gap, Abercrombie, or American Eagle. My car is economical, and almost paid for. You look at me and you think I am strange. I am not strange---you are. I am happy. Are you? Do all the possessions make you happy? Does the bitchy look on your girlfriend's face make you want to sleep with her, does the way she treat you turn you on? I have seen you, and you don't look too happy. I may look different. You may think of me as 'poor'. I am rich in ways you cannot fathom, and successful in many of the same ways. I hope that one of you fucks who treated me like shit back in the day comes across this. This was officially a tirade.

While in High School one of the few things that made me happy was the weekend nights spent drinking cheap beer in Sumps. A Sump is a large overgrown
drainage ditch. It was a good time. Me and the losers. There are many stories which involve Meister Brau and what happened after a 6 pack of the beverage
however I will leave them out. Instead here is a Thank you to all my Friends from High School. Most of them are to the best of my knowledge not doing too much with their lives, but I hope things will get better for you if any of you are reading this. I still miss you guys sometimes.

8.06.2001

One of my neighbors here at work is this woman who is a bit redneck. Well actually she is a lot redneck with a very thick southern drawl. Once out of nowhere this woman announced to two of our neighbors that she lost her virginity at 13. Not the kind of thing that you want to say at work. This woman was just standing up telling all of us that she wants to start a Lava Lamp Collection. She says that she needs something to make her happy as nothing else does. She also mentioned that she wants a bubble lamp and one of those lamps with the fake fish inside. Things like this I will miss. Her speech ended with her saying "Well I'm gonna go gets some decaf." I am not making this up.

As an aside she lives out in Goochland county about 20 miles from the city. It is pretty darn trashy.
Zuchini, Spandex, and Clairvoyance----A journey through the depths of my idiocy.

I do not think that I can keep this a secret any longer. The new-hires around here are getting paid 15% more than I am. This company deserves to go Bankrupt. They will get theirs. The other day one of the supervisors actually said to me that he wonders how the company is still in business with all the mistakes that they make. I am glad to have that off my chest, not really.

The guy that sits across from me just came in and his new haircut makes him look like a homosexual Busta Rhymes.

Kim told me that I should talk about this. I vommitted this morning before work. I actually puked up a whole piece of zuchini. This was at 7 AM and the last time I ate zuchini was 7 PM last night. If any Zuchini growers are out there I have a new slogan for y'all-----Zuchini.....The Vegetable That Keeps On Giving

I was listening to this Dinosaur Jr. CD I got at the Thrift Store while driving to work. J. Mascis' guitar sounds awesome. It made me a happy man. I then began thinking of this kid named John Ventura who I went to high school with. He had a mullet throughout the late eighties and early nineties. It was somewhat cool back then so give the kid a break. The mullet was spiked on the top ---for those of you wondering. Anyway he used to wear a Dinosaur Jr. T-shirt all the time. He got really into grunge and immediately went out and bought a ton of flannel. He was tall, incredibly lanky, and had horrible posture. Facially, he resembled Gargamel from the Smurfs (His best friend was this kid named Eric Weiss---He had an enormous head. These 2 were quite the pair.) In the late eighties when Spandex bike shorts were very popular--he used to wear those. Turqouise ones. He was so thin that they did not fit right and were baggy. If anyone can get me a picture of what he looks like now, I will love you forever.

As I began thinking about how much of a Jackass John V. was I began thinking how much of a jackass I used to be. At Weddings etc... people want to bring up the assinine things I did. I do not want to talk about that stuff at all. In the future, I would like all of my friends to interact with me under the following premise.

The next time I meet Scott, it will be the first time I have ever met him. He knows things about me for, much like the Iron Maiden song, he is Clairvoyant. He is also able to project false memories of himself into my brain. It is very important to remember that he has not done any of those things. These images and stories are slightly amusing anectedotes that Scott has created himself and is force-feeding me.

8.05.2001

I am not planning on doing shit today. We already went out and went to the Health Food Store and the regular grocery store. Elwood Thompson's (The Health Food Store) has started making their own T-shirts. I think that I will get one. I drank too much beer last night and now I am having a hard time staying out of the bathroom. This is the price I pay. This damn Irish blood. It makes you want to drink a lot.

I am going to go watch "A Few More Dollars" the follow-up to "A Fistfull of Dollars". I watched a little bit this morning and Clint Eastwood is quite the Bad-Ass. He is a bounty hunter. People are going to get killed. It is very cool. It was an action movie made in 1965, so it does not have the blood and guts of newer action films. Kind of nice to not have to see blood splattered on the floor, the walls, the killer, the camera itself etc.....

Ben Affleck has just checked himself into Re-Hab for alcohol. Voluntarily. How long will this last? I cannot see him staying sober very long. I imagine that he might be giving up alcohol so he can spend more time doing cocaine or another drug perhaps. Maybe he is on Ecstacy constantly. Is that why women find him attractive? Perhaps they can sense his increased pheremones due to massive ingestion of "E". I know I can.

8.04.2001

Just got back from Wal-Mart on the West End of Richmond. Wal-Mart on a Saturday is a lot like hell. Everywhere I look there are women in their 30's and 40's with frosted hair cut in a bob, trying to achieve that ever-popular touseled look. They are driving SUV's and have spoiled-annoying children. Sometimes I hate this fucking town. The West End has turned into Northern Virginia. The only difference is I64 is still nowhere near as bad as I66. The cost of living is also considerably lower of course. We's be po folks here in Richmond.

Kim and I will be dating 2 years on 8/11/01 and we went out there so I could pick out my anniversary presents at Best Buy. I am getting DVD's. The Exorcist, Requiem for a Dream (Director's Cut), Pi, and I'm Gonna Git You Sucka. I am a big Clint Eastwood fan so I bought myself "Fistfull of Dollars" and "A Few More Dollars" They were $10 each as were Pi, I'm gonna.... Kingpin which Kim bought was also $10. I am going to get the "Good the bad and the Ugly" very soon---Its only $10 Then the Trilogy will be mine.

I will see y'all later. HEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAWW!!!!!!

8.03.2001

I called in sick to work today. I am updating this from my PC at home for the first time. I find it very exciting. It is totally and completely different. Not at all. I am actually ill suprisingly enough. I was up from 3:00 AM to 5:30 AM having digestive problems which involved me being incapacitated sitting on the toilet. It gave me plenty of time to read the "True Adventures of the Rolling Stones" which I have been reading since last week. It is a very good book. For anyone who actually likes "The Rock", I highly recommend it. It is a seemingly accurate portrayal of the lives that the Rolling Stones led. The book tends to stay away from the sort of descriptions of excess that other Rock Bios tend to get caught up in. I read "Hammer of the Gods", the Led Zepelin biography, a while back and the whole book was like they did these drugs and fucked these girls etc... I felt like I was reading Wilt Chamberlin's diary. The only complaint I have with "The True Adventures..." is that the author has said a whole lot of times that being on tour with the Stones messed him up really bad. I am pretty sure he is going to end up getting divorced soon after Altamont. This point was made at the very beginning of the book. He continues to make this point at least once in every chapter. We all get the picture. The guy also seems to ignore that his marriage gets fucked up because he is cheating on his wife, and doing lots and lots of drugs. He seems to be blaming the tour as oppossed to himself. People are fucking weird.

I am going to go to the record store in a little while and see what I can find. Then I am going to take a nap.

I was just watching "Almost Famous" and realized that I need to reccommend "Psychotic Reactions and Carburator Dung" by Lester Bangs to everyone reading this. The book is a collection of a bunch of his writing. If you cannot locate the book--find some of his stories on-line. He is long winded but excellent. I should also add this disclaimer---If you do not know at least some stuff about Classic Rock and Rock Music in general, most of the writing will probably go over your head. It is very fast and full of references.

One of my neighbors was practicing the flute. I felt as though I were at a Jethro Tull concert. I was going to demand "Aqualung", then I realized that would make me vomit. I will probably be doing that very soon anyway. The lady that lives below me also finally introduced herself to me. She was an Art Professor at Maryt Washington College, where I went. She taught there from 1999-this past May. She has always ignored Kim and I. She was very nice to me today. I have met her before. When I was a bartender I served her once. She has a bunch of straightedge tattoos, including an excellent Dag Nasty tattoo on her upper arm--I recognized her by these. She is obviously not Straightedge anymore, then again neither am I. It must be weird to have XXX on the back of your hand and then order a drink. My tattoos may not all look like the most meaningful things to someone who does not know me but at least none of them embarass me when I am at a bar.

Later.

8.02.2001

Da Birth of tha SKZA

As some of you may remember a few years ago I decided that I was going tolaunch my R & B career with such hits as "Toyota Girl" and "The Best Ho is
Another Man's Ho", paving the way for the future ofR & B music. My intent was to approach my music with the soul of R & B,and the sincerity of Country and Western greats such as Johnny Cash, HankWilliams, and Kris Kristopherson. As everyone probably realizes I was unable to get this off the ground. I have a new plan and a new idea.

Some of you may also remember my plan to become signed to Master P's No Limit Records where I would release my Rap albums under the moniker
"Strawberry Daq" (named after my reddish complexion and my love of the beverage). As everyone probably realizes this also did not happen, though
in this case not from lack of effort on my part. I am ready to tell the whole story.

In August of 2000 I took a meeting with Master P, Silkk the Shocker and the other greats of the No Limit / Cash Money Empire to establish the
foundation upon which we would build "Da Daq's" (as they refferred to me) career. In the end it was established that I did not have the image they
were looking for their artists to carry. I had never done time. I had never ridden in a "drop top 64". We mutually agreed to part.


"Da Daq" was down but not out. I'm back with a new name and a new deal cause its a new century and a new millenium. I am hoping to make the years
of 2001-3000 known as "Da SKZA Years". That's right for those of you whohave not heard of the New #1 Richmond Playa Da SKZA has arrived and has a
new album on da way. It be called:


Da *SKZA* in DA HZA

and includes the following hits:

1. Bitch. HO. Yeah Yo!
2. SKZA in da HZA
3. Toyota Girl (2001 remix)
4. PO PO Coming Ta Gets Me
5. Fuck a Bitch, Kill her man.
6. Drinkin' 40's on Da Porch Swing wit my Bitch (A soulful Ballad)
7. Drinkin' 40's on Da Porch Swing wit my Bitch's Sister
8. In Da Ghetto (A reworkin' of da Elvis Presley Classic---I'll give you a
hint that fat cracker-ass-bitch gets his in da end)
9. Where's my Weed?
10. Yo Gimme dos Jordans, Dat 8-Ball Jacket and Yo Chain Fool
( A song about jackin' mo-fo's back in NY----Represent)
11. I love my Momma

Stay Tuned. Playa-Up.

Brandon has instructed me to post this. He wants me to say that he did call his supervisor before arriving late this morning and that his supervisor was cool with it. He neglects to realize that he forgot to ask my permission. Looks like the ball-gag and the extra large anal beads are coming out tonight. I believe I am out of KY. Oh well. Pain builds or character, or my orgasm---either way.
So I take Brandon and we go out to the storage area to drop off some equipment that I had in my car. On the way back I see a man in his mid forties, very tall and thin riding a bike with his shirt off. The man was very very hairy and the hair was "salt and pepper" colored. It was not Salt N Pepa mind you. Spinderalla was not riding on the handle bars. If you are that hairy perhaps you should not ride a bike down Patterson Ave. without a shirt on. Needles to say I was incredibly aroused. I lept from the car and got me some sasquatch love. In the post-coital glow, Bob as he referred to himself, explained that he was indeed Bigfoot. He also asked me to thank Trek for manufacturing a mountain bike frame which can accomodate an individual of his size.

I also just came to the realization that my up until now my unexplained arousal while watching the Star Wars Triology, was in fact due to the presence of Chewbacca.

How does one have sex with a Wookie?

I also got in an argument with the girl behind the counter at Taco Bell. I always get water when I eat there,and the girl proceeded to tell me that they were out of the cups they usually use for water and I would thus have to pay for my cup. It turned out they she usually worked the drive thru and in that area they were out of those cups. Once she found the cups near the dining room register she told me that I was "Lucky". There is much more to the story, including my ever clever responses to the constant barrage of idiocy which seemed to flow freely from this individual's mouth. However the conversation ended when I explained to her that their inventory was not a matter of luck and proceeded to ask "How am I lucky?". Does that woman wonder why she cannot find a job outside of the fast food industry?
Hot Water Music

I am listening to Hot Water Music and I have just picked up my chair and thrown it at my neighbor. My computer is next. I am doing karate kicks, screaming out the words. I have convinced my female boss to get on my back, where she will able to more adequately perform the "windmill" as I run in the middle of the circle pit I have just started.

I am still sitting here. Reality fucking sucks. Could I do my job on LSD? I wonder. It might be better. It might be worse though. I am scared that could be possible. This job is hell. I wonder what sins I have committed in a past life to warrant this. I have vague recollections of having sex with a religious figure whom I will allow to remain nameless.
My neighbor just looked me and asked if I knew any good Shelters in Richmond. "Animal Shelters?" I asked. "Yes." She is moving to a new apartment and for 2 weeks she will be living with her boyfriend untile her new lease starts. She cannot find someone to watch the cat and wants to give it up. Way to care about your animals. I told her to go to a kennel, but she said that she did not want to because they will but the cat in a cage. I explained that they will certainly be doing the same thing at an animal shelter. She is now looking into the cost of a kennel for 2 weeks. Wow.
I just arrived at work. I am in a good mood today. I was hanging out with my neighbor Marie on our back deck this morning, and I got a call from a company whom I really want to work for. Brandon (my singer)'s girlfriend Jenny works for the company and referred me a couple of days ago. They called me today and were asking if I wanted to work in the Customer Care Department. I explained to them that I was looking for a change, something outside of Customer Service and I knew of the department I was inrterested in, so I told her where I wanted to work. She said that the woman who hires for that department would be contacting me for a phone interview. I hope that she does. I was very polite when I explained that I was not interested and she seemed cool with it. I am not going to take a new job when it is something I don't want to do anymore. That is how I ended up here.

"If we do not learn form history, we are doomed to repeat it."

The new prospective drummer is both a good, solid drummer and a nice guy. He also has a good look going on fashion wise, which as bad as it sounds no-one wants a 400 pound, dirty, flannel-wearing lumber jack for a drummer. He is practicing with a few other bands and will make his decision sometime next week. I hope he wants to join but I am not holding my breath.

Speaking of Brandon, he is late again today. He needs to be careful. He called in yesterday and he has been absent a bunch. I think they are getting ready to start coming down on folks for stuff like this. I will tell him to be careful. I will be posting the rest of his personal business throughout the day. When I begin discussing the "Strip Club Years" be sure to read on. I am kidding. I do not know if Brandon has ever been to a strip club. I will have to take him to my next Chipendales show.

8.01.2001

I would like to state that I officially take make my previous statement that work is not bothering me back. I am incredibly bothered by it and was fortunately able to alleviate some of my frustrations on my dinner break by beating 2 children and a 73 year old woman. I had initially posted all information relating to my ever-growing contempt for this job however, in the interest of avoiding a possible lawsuit I have removed this info. from the Blog. I realized that posting sensitive internal memos on the web was not the best idea.

I actually just looked at my boss and smiled. I deserve a fucking Oscar.

Maybe just an Emmy.

"I like men. I like to be man-handled. I like you."---Fletch

Can you tell I am bored? This is what the 83rd posting of the day?
"I ain't never sucked a cock. I held one in my mouth for a while though" ---A former co-worker named Bob.

This was one of the first things he ever said to me. Bob did a lot of coke. I am not sure if that explains anything or not.
So my neighbor here at work, Scott, calls me over to tell me that he has just last night had the first sex-dream that he has had in about two years. The best part is that the dream was about a girl who also works here. I will call her Sally, changing her name to protect the innocent or in this case the not-so-innocent. Now Sally works part time at the same restaurant I used to work at, just a coincidence I add in to bring that personal touch folks love so much. She is almost 20 and is dating a guy who is 17. He was home schooled, transferred to a regular high school and then flunked out. He has no GED, no driver's license etc... Sally's mother apparently (according to office gossip anyway---always 100% accurate) has been known to prepare trays of strawberries, whipped cream, and chocolate to aid in her daughter and her boyfriend's love-making. Wow. What a Mom. Anyway Scott had this dream where he was about to get it on with this girl and then his alarm clock went off. He is not getting any in real life and apparently this is echoed in his unconscious mind.

I would just like to say that Scott really is my neighbor and not a way for me to tell a dream I have had in the third person. All my sex-dreams involving co-workers are about the men. My Girlfiend is so proud of me.

Scott added that he was having sex-dreams about Farah Fawcett in grade school. Was it her frosted hair that did it?
Its a half an hour later and I have decided that I truly do hate this job. The people around me annoy the hell out of me. Can everyone please just shut up and leave me alone. Two of my neighbors spend an inordinate amount of time discussing jokes I have made, things I have done etc.... Now the topic has turned to "Rush Hour 2" and how great it is going to be. At least I am not involved---nor for that matter do I have any intention of being involved. Jackie Chan's name is currently being pronounced with a pseudo-asian accent. Strange coming form someone who consisently mispronounces "General Tso's Chicken" when ordering Chinese food.

I have found a new career. I am going to work for Chipendales. The market for skinny,pale vegans with lots of tattoos is apparently considerably higher than initially thought.
Well I expect that you all will be hearing a lot from me in the coming weeks as I have quit my job and will probably find myself in a bit of an unemployment stretch. I am looking forward to it. It will give me plenty of time to rent DVDs, read books, and fuck my pet cat while shoving one of my pet lizards up my ass. The male (Holden) is larger and has more spikes on his skin-----he is my favorite.

Woke up early and drove down to my parents house in Williamsburg, VA to pick up all of my guitar equipment for practice tonight. Our prospective new drummer is going to come out and hopefully we will all get along just fine. As long as he is OK with me grabbing his ass and demanding "oral pleasure" 3-4 times a week he should work out. As far as I am concerned actual ability to play the drums falls way behind his willingness to participate in the above mentioned activities. As he has already mentioned that he is "rusty", I am more than willing to help "break him in". He is a Med student at MCV here in Richmond, VA. Does anyone know how long it is before a med student can write prescriptions?

Medical Marijuana is now legal in Canada. I wonder what kind of ailments will enable you to get a prescription. How easily can I fake these ailments? Can I then sell my prescription for a profit?----These are the things I think about while fucking the cat.

I am at work now. I would be upset if it wasn't coming to an end very soon. Besides I am at this point getting paid to discuss bestiality and marijuana. If only every day of a job could be like your last two weeks on a job. What a deep thought. Christ I'm an idiot.